i think paul mooney is everything...

between watching an awesome marathon of First 48....ive been inundating myself with Paul Mooney standup and comedy. occasionally, i go back and watch the same ones to refresh myself with how funny he is.

i had to write a paper about a comedic figure my freshman yr in college. i wanted to write about paul mooney but cowardly thought he would be too much so i opted for the next best...richard pryor. might as hell been mooney...

ive never seen PM live...i would to but when they talk about black comedic legends...they often exclude PM. idk. this man is HILARIOUS. and what i learned from writing my comedy paper in my English class those years ago...my teacher would often keep asking me, "thats funny...but why is it funny?"

i want to say PM is funny bc he is real. but that would to be so vague and insincere to his craft. he's unapologetic to what he feels, he shares life from his perspective, he exumes the pain of racial inequality in this county and then encourages us to laugh at it. it's a really strange feeling when experiencing PM comedy.

more than anything, PM comedy reminds me of my Mother. i think i shared a PM video with her once or twice bc i know she thought Richard Pryor was funny but bc of PM racial remarks, i knew my mama would get a high off of that!

lately, PM is the closest to hearing my mother laugh i can get. and well, thats enough.

thanks Paul.

conviction.

ive gotten through...what i believe...to be the toughest part of the book of im reading. its the part of the book where you must plan and reflect and plan and commit. these are all words im familiar with and once found little fear with...but its taken me 3 days to get through this part of the book. finished today. with reflections and planning...but little commitment. not yet. that part is way too...in your face.

i think thats the hardest part of the "resolutions" people do every year. a couple of days ago i came across of list of things that i wanted to do this year...mostly around the house, a little travel and what not..most of it i did. and i smiled at the reflection of it. i hadnt referenced this list to remind me what i wanted and i needed...conviction did that for me.

and therefore...i eventually committed.

its a strange thing how fear comes with conviction and commitment.

just a thought...

so appropriate :)

make sure you're loving on yourself.

well...

apparently today is the last day of the year. 2015. its so strange to say because...this year, the new one, would make 10 yrs since i left high school. how strange is that...

very.

right now, im reading. and eating chocolate. on vacation. the last thursday of this year i can joyfully do what i want to do - nothing & everything at the same time.

i suppose that describes my mission this year....

the year about nothing...

and everything...

every year i learn something new about myself...about others...about God, and purpose and defining yourself. i learn these things each year. and while i dont dwell on them...i make a conscious effort to be aware of change. the only constant.

the only thing i dwelled on this year is myself. the complexity and the uncertainty and the strength of myself. the femininity, the power and the absorption of myself.

i have become an....interesting me because of this "year about nothing"...my need to truly only be concerned with my concerns and filled with only my wants and needs. which led to much self-absorption and minimal to no explanation to anyone regarding these actions...again, they are mine. filled with love and hopefully the opportunity to be better in 2015.

my prayer is that 2014 was a blessing to grow for others. it was definitely an introspective year for me. and while i went about it in my own way...it was worth the journey. i look forward to the progress that "the year about nothing" brings in 2015.

afehiya pa!

away.

Jackson.

beautiful find.

in case ur wondering where i am.