one night

tall. handsome. you.
charming. chivalrous. you.
always listening and attentive.
close enough for your energy to linger on me.
far enough for me to want more.
nothing like im used to.
everything i want
half of what i need.
f_ck it. roll with it.
soak in it. dark corners like steamy saunas.
like birthday cake on an off day.
lovin on a rainy day.
day dreams in evident nightmares.
f_ck it. roll with it.
soak in it. like its all the way real.
til the sun rises and we sneaking past each other's eyes.
lies and faitytales.
ill take it.
just tonight.

piece.

i just want a piece.
some piece.
nothing more.
nothing less. just an opportunity to reach it and actually touch it.
a touch.
of the garment.
of the goal.
of everything ive given up and chosen to live for.
for everybody that said i was a nobody.
and for you to give me piece...
that says im somebody.
i am somebody.
and under your wing....
i wait and will not worry.
justified and verified.
my piece is coming.

present.

im present

thats it

absolutely unsure what the grass on the other side looks like

not quite sure if i want to

just present

moving at a decent pace

never absolute that the lane is right...

or is the lane left?

completely present; im sure im here

and hear often how gifting the present is

well, if thats the case...how come it feels like a nightmare? or daymare?

constant torment of lists undone, passions untangled and sh*t unhandled...

embellished with lavish parties, fancy drinks and daily routine

always on sale - someone always tryna sell something...and none of it can be returned

so i sit with my piles of presents (yes)

piles of presents (yeah)

piles of presents (maybe)

absolutely unsure; never absolute

and embellished.

hate you

i lie here
regretting it again
the process of lostness
and that euphoria of the present that makes you think
look at us..in love again

yesterday i promised id never see you again
took my own word for it and deleted everything that reminded me of you
but my mind wasnt interested in keeping up with the physical disposal
and running into you just dont help it too
we just go back doing what old lovers do...
chase old memories, laugh like besties and wonder why we could never make it work...
then we fight about the things of old like it never gets old
swear off each other until we're screaming
yet the adrenaline rush from all the fuss only operates as foreplay
got us naked again...
and when i look at you i keep expecting you to say,
"i miss you. i cant go another day without you."
then mama's "i told you so" wouldnt matter...
predictably you smile at me and said, "man, i love the freak you."
crushed again.

today, i lie here
regretting it again
hate you for loving me good but hating me fairly enough that ive lost reality
solemnly weak
silly girl in rotation

beautiful

He is here and here am i…

Just…here

Yeah, I could use better words for it like…

Yo, im absorbed in his possession and im attracted to his vibration

Captivated by his dynamic, full and exciting glow right now

Nah, none of that is necessary…

Because in just a minutes I’ll teach you what he taught me

Less is better. 

No need for new big and philosophical words to convey a message.

Because right now…we are here

he is shifted on his left side with me on his right side

his right hand sifting through my hair as he eases into sleep

wish you could see him…I call him beautiful. He calls me strength

See, simple words.

I can’t sleep. I’m laying next to beautiful and how many beautiful men do I know?

Besides Jesus and my daddy…he is the third. He’s completed my trinity. I love him.

I determined this before making love to him, yes, tonight…

He shared his passions with me – in short words of course

Love. Family. Revolution.

“It all begins in the heart,” He said. “Men need to know how the heart works to enact change,” He continued. I listened. He’s a teacher. I’m a student.

“Heart? Really?” I asked. He was coiling my lengthy cotton-esque hair in his fingers.

“Heart. But it’s because of strength. Heart comes from strength. It overcomes. It towers because it has a mission. You are strength. I am heart.”

Nope, I’ve determined he is beautiful.

I realized it even more so afterwards when he kissed me softly on my shoulders and repositioned his place in my life with a simply being honest. real. open.

I'm overwhelmed that I even know him. 

I am grateful.

He is beautiful.