one step at a time.

i was such an awkward black girl growing up. as Pastor is going through this "Ridiculous" sermon series, tonight, we focused on some things NOT to do while journeying through faith. my favorite F word. 

one thing that i realized tonight is that...it must be a blessing and a curse to be me. the joy and value that i find in solitude sometimes is eerie. im grateful to God for it because when we have no comfort in being alone, how can we know when someone is actually adding to us? 

my prayer for myself and each woman (particularly single ones) that i know is that we become fully aware of our value. our solitude is God's way of dancing with us. value it. He is just finding ways to spend time with us by allowing us to be exposed to things/people that we would not have being connected with someone at this point in our lives.

it is my desire that for every step that i take that God will be taking two steps. especially when it comes to those walking in and out of my life (and yours). that we will be strength for them as they are for us. and i think that's one of the most beautiful things about faith. God says deny you and trust Me. and that's often meaning you need to walk alone. 

dominion.

what a beautiful evening houston was. beautiful. it felt like an actually Spring day, and i find that quite odd. are we in our last days? idk. it should be 150 degrees by now, but im not complaining.

i want to make a better habit of writing. when i want to rest, it seems like i have not much room for it. but then i have to remind myself that we make room for what we want to make room for. so hear i am.

dominion.

it's quite difficult to determine what this words means...to me. dominion from what i can recall in many lessons ive heard from Scripture is that dominion is possession. dominance. control.

as ive gotten older, its been my walking nature to be aware of my dominion. to be aware of the power that God has given. to be aware and knowledgeable that you can worthy of the control God has given you.

i think i was aware of my passive aggressive nature when i was a kid. it always those closest to you that challenge your dominion. well, challenges they were. i learned quickly that taking dominion often means getting serious about who you allow to speak and act in your life. speak and act.

im grateful that there is growth but still a ways to go. i am. you are. consistently challenged.

ive come to a point that when my dominion is threatened...i have to make two decisions (1) flee or (2) fight. i think we are all aware of how this works. it's how we protect ourselves. sometimes it is okay to flee. sometimes it is necessary to flee. we have to. but other times, we need to take action and fight. action. easy to say difficult to do and often difficult to be fully aware of how long the fight may last before the dust settles and you are set free in the spirit. the fight. the action.

dominion.

i think the God IN us provokes us to challenge ourselves. our flesh is always toiling with just what to do. how to do it. and when to do it.

if i recall in Scripture properly..the only thing that i can recall Christ asking to "flee" was anything in contrary to the very own dominion of God.

i trust that dominion begins when you find your inner God. you are aware of the strength that you have. and the voice that you possess. dominion is not far from you.

FAST REPORT: im stepping out.

in case you're still counting: it's DAY 26 with 4 days to go. it just jetted by, right? wow.

well, im coming full circle in this social networking fast. the commercial i saw that brought this all on came on as i was dosing off to sleep and im really glad i was motivated to it. although i havent read A Call to Die in a few days and not nearly as close to be done as i'd like to...it's a book of lessons AND ive added another book to my reading list as soon as im done with this one called: Jesus Withouth Religion. I'm excited to read it.

anyways. the past month we've been teaching the kids about: humility. definately a lesson for me as much as its been for them. A Call to Die is about: humility. my life in the last month has been about: humility. i just needed to really drill that lesson in my mind about putting things of priority...FIRST! it came to me that the thing that i should be putting first most of all is TIME. time is so available but limited and essential yet freeing. and everything about what im motivated to do is contingent in God's timing...not my own...

ive been on so many time contraints in the last month that ive just asked God to give me some wiggle room and all i can really hear from Him is that i need to allow that extra 15-30 minutes i waste doing the miscelleanous to stay focused on the agenda He has laid out. a leap of faith. a moment to step out of the ordinary to be in unordinary spaces and be welcomed by them...

i realized that first hand today as i stepped into a room of women i did not know and pitched several of them my goals and vision. scary and out of the ordinary but so welcoming. it was out of my comfort zone, but i didnt know that stepping out of my comfort zone would be so comforting.

i praise God for this short season to fully fellowship with Him out of distractions, but im looking forward to what lies ahead and whatever these  next days of the fast have in store. i have a few days until my move and a few days until i confirm that i have the next job im hoping for. please pray, Saints!

the commencements of life.

Psalm 18:2, "The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliever; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn (strength) of my salvation, my stronghold."

This Word rested w/ me today! If you're anything like me who is used to getting her way and used to being in control...having to give that up to God by faith is very hard especially when you are uncertain about, right? Or maybe I'm just alone on this one but I doubt it!

And this movie, Inception, which was very good by the way, kind of got me to thinking about the inceptions/commencements in my own life. These are the moments and ideas that drive whom we've become and who we will allow to make an impact on our lives...these inceptions can change everything.

I didn't expect to walk away from this movie w/ a life lesson in mind but here are my commencements:

1. high school graduation

2. becoming a Christian

3. college graduation

two of these were formal but only 1 made the impact to absolutely change my long term perceptions of life & love. But with these commencements in mind, I consider the ups & downs I've experienced in between them and how my reliance on God has become necessary for sanity.

My current issues are not mines alone. Being single, young, black and motivated leaves alot of windows for people to interpret where you are in life, who you are and what you should be doing.

But I love how my Pastor once said: Recall God's past faithfulness to move forward. And the inceptions of our life are constant reminders that God has offered refuge then and He will continue to do just that!

The best part of the inceptions of life is that sometimes they came from having to travel of many rocks & mountains. There's no reason to believe that you can't combat those rocks & mountains again.

Recall the inceptions.

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