Tuesday, November 30, 2010

what's she thinking about?

when i was younger, i used to set on the steps right outside of my apartment i shared with my family...and write early in the morning. i dont remember what i was writing about. probably life or what i looked forward to when i grew up to be an adult. i wanted to be different. i remember it was early sometimes in the morning i would go sit out there. and my mama would be cookiing breakfast. she'd step her head out to look at me and many times than not ask me, "what are you thinking about?" or "what are you doing?" and my answer was always...nothing. sometimes i was worried. sometimes i was joyful. sometimes i was really really ahppy and went to Bible study tonight and recalled this story...

it was a good lesson about not worrying. continued confirmation about the things that i really love and really look forward to in the future...no worries (easier said than do though, right?) but i was captivated by a few verses in Phillippians that I'd like to share and that jumped out to me and truly will be on my mind for the rest of the week and repeated in my head like a song that just wont go away...maybe it could be the same for you.

Phillippians 4:4-6 (NIV) 4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

The words just sounded like a loving mother...like something you know your mom would tell you and the steps are easy..imagine God's voice whisper these things to you...

(1) Rejoice in me (2) Rejoice again because you really have nothing to worry about and (3) let everybody see this joy inside of you because your joy allows them to see me. I am ALWAYS here with you! (4) Be anxious about nothing. It's not worth your time. Just (5) pray and (6) petition to me with a thoughtful heart and (7) tell me what you need.

When I read the verses..this is what i heard ^ but the thing that jumped out to me was that God wanted me to pray, rejoice, rejoice, pray, petition, let everybody see Him and LASTLY make my request known to Him. You know how people say that you don't have because you don't ask? I believe God wants us to be worry-less and full of His likeness and THEN make the request because He already knows what it is that we need. By verbalizing it, we make it aware to ourselves..not really to God...what our need is. With all that rejoicing and praying etc. our petition to God is just an expectation because of our obediance. How freakin kewl is that?

We must understand that we are responsible to God and He is responsible for us. Worrying is just a display of a faithless attitude.

And daily I have to praise Him and just say..I love the Lord. I don't think a thousand tongues could praise Him on my behalf for how well He has kept me this year. Just wrapped His arms around my life that I've just grown so much.

So I pray that you take the worry and throw it in the trash, friends.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

i wanna be in a flashmob so bad!

after watching that infamous episode of The Modern Family where they flash mob happened in the middle in the mall...i've been infatuated with the idea of being in one! so i was browsing online online browsing and saw the craziest thing via Oprah's site..a FLASH MOB! so i'd ike to share one of the flash mobs i thought was so freakn cool. cool, right?

Monday, November 22, 2010


Since high school, I’ve gained and loss…and gained again about 40 pounds. I look at my cheerleading uniform hanging in the closet at my mom’s house, and I couldn’t fit a thigh in there if I wanted to. Back then, we were so small! Back then, I was scarcely unaware of who I was also. In the past few years, I’ve grown to embrace everything about myself that I once didn’t find flattering physically and emotionally. It’s a point in my life when I realized I could be exposed, and I had no control over it. Scary and liberating but this is where I found the art of nudity.

When I think of the classic story of Adam & Eve, I feel like we’re cheated out of thinking deeper about their nakedness. There are rare instances in the Bible where they talk about nudity. As I’m dissecting the story, the bliss of Eden and the couple in their nakedness symbolizes so much freedom and pureness. They had nothing to hide because they were in perfection. However, after Eve was induced to lead her husband and herself into deception, they made nakedness a thing to hidden and covered….in Eden? I was curious what made think that in Eden, a place that God created, that they could hide the parts of them that God created? And in my best Chrisette Michele voice: it just came to me…like an epiphany....when God said, “Who told you that you were naked?” (Genesis 3:11)

It’s as if the word had no recognition to God because to Him we are always exposed, so how can man put a word on something that is natural? It is what we are all the time not only when our clothes are off. At a trying period of limbo for me, I realized that I was naked all the time. Not always to people but always to God…always. I was like Adam trying to hide from the world, hide from God and hide from myself. But how silly is it to deny yourself of reality?

EPHIPHANY! Even with the fall of Adam and Eve, God still carries their weight and in turn carries mine.

It’s like I woke up, totally in an Eden mindset that my garments, my heart and my mind are never shielded from God. Because of this realization, I started a journey of rediscovering my first loves beginning with myself. Physically and emotionally naked like never before.

The question I had to pose to myself (that I also encourage of others is): If you’re not comfortable being naked alone, how can you be naked with someone else? And now, I’m totally allowing myself to be freed because sometimes I’m rigid and afraid of exposure. But once God shines a light on you that shows you that you were never hiding…what’s the point of being in the shadows?

And since when do diamonds fit into square pegs?

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

what He says means alot...

Proverbs 16:7

it never jumped out to me before but these words say alot: "When the LORD takes pleasure in anyone’s way, he causes their enemies to make peace with them." & so while on my lunch break i was looking for something else and stumbled upon this. it personally made me giggle & smile on the inside. i start to think to myself: whatever could this mean..for anyone?

im thinking about the story of Samson & Delilah (Judges 13-16). if you've never read it..it's a must read and a whole other entry in & of itself! but the piece i connect to Proverbs 16:7 is that Samson had many enemies since we learned of his birth. but an angel came to Samson's mother and gave her promises about what Samson was going to do as a man according to God's will. Regardless of the the drama that Samson would go through, he was given a mission.

and when i look at the first part i wonder: at what point is it that God took pleasure in Samson's life? Samson was quite arrogant. Then he fell in love with a whore & lost everything. But then Judges 16:28 happened. Then Judges 16:29-30 happened. Samson admitted that he could not have his strength without God and ultimately fulfilled his mission but not without experiencing death.

it brought me back to the reality of some people's lives i know. how my <3 cries for the misguided...much how Samson allowed his desires to misguide him. but the amazing-ness of it is that there's pleasure to be found in the downturn that Samson had...the pleasure was his death.

Samson's death is much like Jesus's death on our behalf. A request. An invitation to a new life by allowing ourselves to be dead to our own desires. FINALLY Samson got the message and defeated his enemies just as God has intended for him to do.

reading Samson's story may appear like a sad one..he did die...but its evident that God's Word & words have sincerity & meaning. His messages for us are to lead us in the right direction and not the direction of death that we, mindlessly, define as life.

Samson's story continues to be one of my favorites. it's a constand reminder about love, self love, God's love & the pursuit of life and our dreams. i didn't think i'd get that from a small & short Scripture i just stumbled over today.

thought: learn from Samsom & avoid making similar mistakes but reminded that God's pleasure is the primary. those in opposition to God's plan for you will make many Delilah like moves...be careful.

<3 b