Sunday, November 6, 2011

hate you

i lie here
regretting it again
the process of lostness
and that euphoria of the present that makes you think
look at love again

yesterday i promised id never see you again
took my own word for it and deleted everything that reminded me of you
but my mind wasnt interested in keeping up with the physical disposal
and running into you just dont help it too
we just go back doing what old lovers do...
chase old memories, laugh like besties and wonder why we could never make it work...
then we fight about the things of old like it never gets old
swear off each other until we're screaming
yet the adrenaline rush from all the fuss only operates as foreplay
got us naked again...
and when i look at you i keep expecting you to say,
"i miss you. i cant go another day without you."
then mama's "i told you so" wouldnt matter...
predictably you smile at me and said, "man, i love the freak you."
crushed again.

today, i lie here
regretting it again
hate you for loving me good but hating me fairly enough that ive lost reality
solemnly weak
silly girl in rotation