Saturday, September 29, 2012

reflections: my hat goes off to GOOD nurses...

ive officially deemed myself a doctor/nurse/pharmacist. idk if anyone is much more acquainted with the process of care than me (or a professional) at this point. not tooting my own horn. i was kind of forced into this situation BUT having seen my dad go through surgeries and several kinda a pro at this.

and home care is def where i a home nurse and if you're a good nurse...i think the attention to detail and well acquainted with how to provide exceptional service and care can be down right...tiring...because you simply care too much to be pathetic at what you do. which is why i literally take my hat off to really good nurses. i realized, having been to many hospitals and spoken to many nurses, they are the heart while the doctor is the hands. while they, literally, take direction and execute by the directive of a doctor, the care of someone is where it really truly matters...and you advocate for them when doctors sometimes have no real idea how to provide the care. nurses see them at least 12 hours of the day...who would know them better, right?

after my dad had surgery...i actually met a really good nurse. never had i seen any nurse my dad has every had take such particular care and concern. although they cannot force patients to do anything, she had this particular way with my dad that was...interesting...and on the day he left, she handed me a notebook of things she compiled that she thought were be helpful having had worked with him (aside from the things the case manager provided me). i dont think thats in her job description but she was extremely knowledgeable and went out of her way to ensure we understood everything when many nurses we've had would simply say, "im not sure. speak to the doctor." wtf they pay you for? 0__o

but uhhh...yeah. it really takes patience. and it would never be something i choose to do. ever. it's not in me. but living with my dad now...has taught me alot about being a provider. it is not easy.

well, that really good nurse i mentioned provoked me to write this. i stopped by HEB and saw her there. she remembered me and asked about my dad. again, who DOES THAT?! maybe ive begun to expect little of people that generosity seems like the exception than simply the standard.

i thank you. every good nurse. every wise doctor. its not easy work and if your reward is not in any particular place you work...your reward is definitely in HEAVEN! =)

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

when my MIND is inluv

there's always moments when im, this is exactly what i'd be like if i were in love...or like alot...aint been there in awhile. tell me you feel me.


MAYBE we can see a movie
or MAYBE we can see a play on Saturday
or MAYBE we can ROLLahTREE and feel the breeze and listen to a symphony
or MAYBE chill and JUSTBE, or maybe....
MAYBE we can take a cruise and listen to the Roots or maybe eat some passion fruit
or maybe CRRRRYYYYY to the blues

or maybe we could just be SIIILLEEENNNTTTTTT


^^ thats exactly what love is like in my head..the music just kinda takes me there...just maybe we can take a lil walk...

Friday, September 7, 2012


i love this song and it's completely a GO TO track for 5K training and just simply an anthem that only A Keys could do to remind you how awesome it is to be a WOMAN and most importantly a WOMANonFIRE and completely unapologetic about running hard, chasing hard and doing it all. you better sang that song, Alicia!

are you a girl on fire???

"he's just a friend..."

please note: the video above is classic hip hop ratchet with beautiful lackluster talent women, lil wayne (of course) and a confusing side pony with his some point i think a man should allow his dreads to stop growing...just i type this...i cant even believe im lowkey endorsing this...BUT it comes across 1 of my pandora stations often, and it amuses me. seems pretty fitting to this post.

so...the point of this post: women.
women talk about men alot but can we just turn the microscope on ourselves for a second?
women lie. then get mad when men tell the truth.

the most DREADED lie ive heard friends say is: "he's just a friend"

oh really?

far too often this lie gets us in trouble, ladies! if truth be told, we know have more than likely gone pass "friends" in our feelings even if we haven't in our actions. and you are DEFINITELY not just "friends" if you've had SEX with this so called "friend". girlBYE! in fact, you're MARRIED, but that's a whole other story...

anywho, my chronicles motif: know what you want.
& although every relationship should begin in friendship and continue in have to know three things (1) the difference between a platonic one and romantic one and (2) ensure the both of you are on the same page on where you are. (3) dont be afraid to ask questions and never assume.

& lastly, NEVER EVER in your life SMASH THE HOMIES. rarely ends well. i never have. never will. ask any man ive called a friend. it is simply and always will be just that.

so, know your boundaries and STOP LYING to yourself and others around you and then become a sour puss when that dude says, "i just wanna be friends..." it becomes uncomfortable for all and especially your loved ones that feel so bad that they continue to encourage your embellished delusion.

fall in love but do it honestly. <3 nbsp="nbsp">

Thursday, September 6, 2012

grocery store lovin'

im committed to H-E-B. it's everything on a Saturday morning to hit the gym and then go grocery shopping just in time for the cooks to give out samples...and good stuff too!

ladies, did you know that the best place to meet eligible men is in the grocery store???! two things come to mind when i see men alone in the grocer...

1. probably living alone [which demonstrates stability...maayyybeee he has roommates but we can deal!]
2. let me check out his basket! [figure out if he eats well. does he care about what he puts inside his body?]

on 2 occasions my basket has been a conversation starter. once over vinaigrette (i kid not) and the other over cereal (he was curious if raisin bran crunch was good...really???!) and although those encounters didnt material into anything (since im still very single)...both men were 1) stable and 2) health conscious & those are two things that are important to me.

what's important to you?

& i continue to reiterate the NEED to know what you want and align it with alot of prayer for God's will.

so i am DEF looking forward to the opportunity to share with my children one day how me and daddy "met at H-E-B" hell...maybe even wal-mart...and i really hope he's a cook! =)

the LESSON: frequent places you want to meet men you truly want to attract and be OPEN to meeting someone new. you never know who might be asking about the kale in your basket on your next trip!

dream on dreamer.


am i the only one having a hard time caring about it?
im working on it but in the midst of not caring...
ive run into some interesting characters
some are reminiscent of the past & i wonder...
"is God trying to teach me a lesson here?"

maybe. idk.

what i do know is i dont like for history (esp if its not good) to repeat itself.
so when this guy approaches me at the gas station (and he was cute)
of course i was obliged to give him my number...duh!
its after that when it goes down hill...
and yes...i realized...he was a lesson (i think i get it God)


if u know me. u know what i do. u know where i stand. and although my values and thoughts continue to evolve with new experiences and my dire attempt to be the kind of woman God would like me to be...
i run into dreamers that excite me in great ways and some that are just pushing my thrill buttons in all the wrong ways...

dreamer....and i found several definitions of this word 1) one who is idealistic and unpractical 2) looks beyond the limits of today 3) out of touch with reality

& after a few short phone conversations...and learning that he cant hold very much conversation...i was over him but he reminded me alot of dreamers ive dated or liked...and often time their never focused enough to reach those dreams they desire...

i continue to attempt to give dreamers chances with hopes that maybe our dreams will collide.

but in sharing all that my LESSON came to this: i know who i have dated and BY GRACE i still have my sanity. in doing so, i realized what i wanted. and although i would NEVER want to go back to any of those former places, that doesnt mean they didnt have great qualities. dreamers, to be honest, scare me. and in my fear, i have to be honest with my needs and wants. and in being honest with myself, i know what im willing to tolerate. and it's BETTER and BEST to determine that quickly than to wait around catching feelings and whatever other none sense foolish girls do with broke men with no vision...

dont be her.

it's EVERYTHING to dream. it's nothing to not explore it and leap and be honest about where ever it goes. doesn't it sound alot like love? =)