Tuesday, March 29, 2011
cloudy day in houston on a wednesday thats actually pretty awesome in my book. it's mid week. friday is almost here but the clouds are only a prelude to the thought that i could and should be working this weekend. depressing to even consider but im moving right along to my theme today....HUNGER.
im really doing good on my eating habits. when i crave, i eat what i crave. i enjoy it thouroughly but im cautious about the foods i indulge in and when. im a food addict. i love food. i like trying new foods and lately...i find myself getting hungry waaayyy too often. maybe its because that late night work out...burning all those calories then i feel the need to eat. i usually turn to an apple, but if im up long enough...it turns into 2-3 bowls of cereal (usually raisin bran crunch).
but i had a late meeting at church tonight, and i was debating whether to go work out...i was getting hungry just thinking about it. my mind was racing about where i could stop to eat. wasnt in the mood for fast food, and i only like to eat at Fadi's on Thursdays. then i remembered i had a coupon for jack in the box...yes! i love coupons in fact. i used one of my jack in the box coupons this past weekend. and all i wanted was to pull up to a drive thru and get two tacos and a regular cookies and cream shake.....soooo good! with the coupon i'd be getting a 3-4 combo for $1....thats amazing, right??!
so im coming to the light where jack in the box is...and i keep driving! i couldnt understand why my arms wouldnt turn the wheel and go into the drive thru. i opted for the gym instead with a 1.5 hour work out to drain the disgust i had of myself wanting to see those delicious calories at this late in the evening. it'd be days to work it off. but i was reading Day 14 of A Call to Die and what was the title??? Can you just guess?
The title was: Too full to eat?
Irony? Maybe, but I doubt it. It was totally opposite from how i was feel earlier. I was starving! But when I was getting that starving feeling..I just ate pasta and a salad at church. An hour before that i had dinner at work and 3-4hrs before that i hate lunch! so whhhhyyy was i still hungry??!
I'm going to let that be my weekend's thought about what is it that I'm really hungry for. But in the book, it shares that the hunger that we have for worldly things should be a resounding bell in our relationship with Christ. Like when we're in a relationship with another person...we want to give them our all and show them our best. Isn't Christ, whom died for us, worth the same attention?
He shares two key Scriptures & a testimony (that you really just have to pick up the book to just really allow that thing to marinate on your mind and yoru heart) that really pulled things together for me:
Matthew 5:6 says, " Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." And I think of this Scripture as a testimony to how God consistently grants me mercy and grace despite me. Sometimes I feel like Peter did on the boat when God said "cast your nets" and when Peter was finally filled because he finally listened to God he fell to his knees and bowed and said, and I paraphrase, "Lord, get out of my sight because I am a sinner." I feel Peter on that. We're hungry and we're thirsty, but we don't want to comply with the directions the Director is giving. Why is this so hard?
Jeremiah 15:16 says, "When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart's delight, for I bear your name, O Lord God Almighty." This is so true. We all bear His name by being born, whether we know it or not. We go further in bearing His name when we define ourselves as His followers. "I am a Christian, right?" < this might be another lesson. But Jeremiah's words seemed to sail on the page seamlessly because it seemed like it came from the heart. Like a short poem to just honor God and say, "I was hungry, and you fed me."
Irony? Nah, I think God's requesting me to eat a whole lot more than what I'm currently consuming. Just eat out of the right bowls, B. The right bowls.
note: day 4