Monday, August 2, 2010

is love complicated or is it you?

I hear this comment from men and woman alike: “It’s complicated.” If you recall, they turned it into a movie! A husband and a wife who became divorced and began to rekindle an old love…or lust? And because love can become so “complicated” Facebook even caters to your confusion! If you can’t define your relationship status Facebook says, “Hey, just put…it’s complicated.”

But is love really confusing or it just…you? Oh, God forbid that it is you, right? But have we not allowed ourselves to allow true love to find us because we’ve been eager to have it? Could it possibly be that we have simply complicated love?

iGoogled the dictionary definition of confused:

1. Perplex or bewilder
2. Unclear or indistinct
3. Fail to distinguish between; associate by mistake

If you identify with the above, you’re probably confused but wouldn’t that be a contradiction to what the Bible says love is?

Mark 12:33 says to love with all your heart, understanding and strength. Romans 13:10 says love does not harm and its fulfilling. 1 Corinthians 13:4 says that love is patient, kind and does not envy or boast and is not proud.

Love, according to Scripture, is selfless. And it is not one way or another way. It is just what it is…love. And it doesn’t come in a gray box which creates this shadow that says that you’re not sure but love comes with a sacrifice just like the death of Christ.

But if you’re defining your “love” as complicated, you might need to re-evaluate yourself. I’ve discovered that when we consider love “complicated” it’s because we’re actually saying, “I am so confused!” It’s okay to admit that but don’t blame that confusion on love. In fact, you should combat it with a rational thought and ask these rational questions:

1. Is there something I am doing wrong?
2. Is this unnecessary stress from this person?
3. Am I fighting a fight I’m not supposed to win?

What I’ve discovered is people who seem perfect for each other still need to review the above questions. That love requires an imperfect balance of struggles & joys. If it’s real love, the pursuit of these above questions will make you open to your partner and to yourself. Be honest with them & yourself. But you’ve come to a point of no return and wanting to hold on to something out of comfort, again, review question #1. You can do better for yourself!

Love is not complicated. Love is perfectly imperfect. But it doesn’t make you feel inferior or confused.

And I close with this: 1 Peter 1:8 “Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy…”

THAT is love. Even if you’re not always in harmony, they love you without a doubt. Imagine meeting that person. Is someone doesn’t make you feel like that change your status from “it’s complicated” to “single”.